Self Sabotage To Empowerment

Though virtually everyone experiences stress, sometimes the way we react to stress amounts to self sabotage! We’ve all found ourselves being impatient with people or taking out frustrations on innocent bystanders, or causing unnecessary conflicts and mental stress because stress is clouding our judgment. And while some people find themselves creating this type of drama in their lives occasionally, others make this self sabotage a way of life, continually creating additional mental and emotional stress for themselves without being aware of their own role in this! The following are some of the most common ways that people create mental and emotional stress in their own lives. Carefully think about whether any of these self sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make simple changes to reduce significant mental and emotional stress from your life.

It’s a little known – yet much denied fact – that people treat you the way you secretly ask to be treated. Your unspoken request that determines how others behave toward you is extended to -and received by – everyone you meet.
What is your invisible inner life? It’s the way you actually feel – as opposed to the way you’re trying to appear – when meeting any person or event.
In other words, your invisible inner life is your real inner condition. It’s this state of internal affairs that communicates with others long before any words are exchanged. These silent signals from your inner self are what a person receives first upon meeting you. The reading of them determines from that point forward, the basis of your relationship. This unseen dialogue that goes on behind the scenes whenever two people meet is commonly understood as “sizing one another up.” But here’s the point of this introduction.
We’re often led to act against ourselves by an undetected weakness that goes before us – trying to pass itself off to others – as strength. This is secret self-sabotage. It sinks us in our personal and business relationships as surely as a torpedo wrecks the ship it strikes.
Any person you feel the need to control or dominate – so that he or she will treat you as you “think” you should be treated will always be in control of you and treat you accordingly. Why? Because anyone from whom you want something, psychologically speaking, is always in secret command of you.

It would never dawn on any person to want to be more powerful or superior to someone else unless there was some psychic character within him or her that secretly felt itself to be weaker or lesser than that other individual. Any action we take to appear strong before another person is actually read by that person as a weakness. If you doubt this finding, review the past interactions and results of your own relationships. The general rule of thumb is that the more you demand or crave the respect of others, the less likely you are to receive it.
So it makes no sense to try and change the way others treat you by learning calculated behaviors or attitude techniques in order to appear in charge. Stop trying to be strong. Instead, start catching yourself about to act from weakness. Don’t be too surprised by this unusual instruction. A brief examination reveals its wisdom. Following are ten examples of where you may be secretly sabotaging yourself while wrongly assuming you’re strengthening your position with others.

1. Fawning before people to win their favor.
2. Expressing contrived concern for someone’s well being.
3. Making small talk to smooth out the edges.
4. Hanging onto someone’s every word.
5. Looking for someone’s approval.
6. Asking if someone is angry with you.
7. Fishing for a kind word.
8. Trying to impress someone.
9. Gossiping.
10. Explaining yourself to others.

The next time you feel yourself about to give into any of the above behaviors, give yourself a quick and simple internal test. This test will help you check for and cancel any undetected weakness that’s about to make you sabotage yourself.
Here’s what to do: Run a pressure check.

Here’s how:
Come wide awake and run a quick inner scan within yourself to see if that remark you’re about to make, or the answer you’re about to give without having been asked for it, is something you really want to do. Are you about to speak because you’re afraid of some as yet undisclosed consequence if you don’t?
Your awareness of any pressure building within you is proof that it’s some form of fear – and not you – that wants to do the explaining, fawning, impressing, blabbing, or whatever the self-sabotaging act the inner pressure is pushing you to commit.
Each time you feel this pressurized urge to give yourself away, silently but solidly refuse to release this pressure by giving in to its demands. It may help you to succeed sooner if you know that fear has no voice unless it tricks you into giving it one. So stay silent. Your conscious silence stops self-sabotage.
Summary: Live every moment like it was your last day and you will surely start to live your best life.

Natural Tips For Allergy Season

Spring is in the air. Literally. From weeds to spores to grass and tree pollens, the warm weather is almost here, driving airborne allergen levels through the roof. That means your allergy symptoms -- the sniffling, sneezing, and itchy eyes -- are in overdrive and apt to stay that way for months.
What can you do? Here are suggestions for helping you find some much-needed natural relief this season.
Neti Pots
What could be simpler than rinsing away allergens with saltwater? Neti pots, small vessels shaped like Aladdin’s lamp, have been used in India for thousands of years to flush the sinuses.

• Alittle dose of saltwater can rinse away pollen grains and help reduce allergies and other forms of sinus congestion. Neti pots are widely available online and at natural food stores.

• Use your pot about twice a day during allergy season, especially in the morning and after spending time outdoors. You also can use a neti pot before bed to prevent snoring caused by allergies and promote optimal overnight breathing

Quercetin

• A natural plant-derived compound called a bioflavonoid, quercetin helps suppress histamine production in your body. (Quercetin also is a natural antioxidant that helps mop up molecules called free radicals that cause cell damage, which can lead to cancer.)

• Though many foods are high in quercetin, allergy sufferers will most likely need to use supplements to build up enough of this compound to prevent attacks. The recommended dosage is about 1,000 milligrams a day, taken between meals. It’s best to start treatment six weeks before allergy season

Allergy Fighting Foods

• A German study, published in the journal Allergy, found that participants who ate foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids were less likely to suffer allergy symptoms than those who didn’t regularly eat these foods.

• Omega-3s help fight inflammation and can be found in cold-water fish, walnuts and flaxseed oil, as well as grass-fed meat and eggs.

Stinging Nettle

• If you decide you need an antihistamine but want a natural option, stinging nettle (Urtica dioica) behaves in much the same way as many of the drugs sold to treat allergies, but without the unwanted side effects of dry mouth and drowsiness.

• Nettle actually inhibits the body’s ability to produce histamine. It’s a common weed in many parts of the United States, but the most practical medicinal form is a freeze-dried extract of the leaves sold in capsules.

• Studies have shown that taking about 300 milligrams daily will offer relief for most people, although the effects may last only a few hours.

Butterbur

• Derived from a common weed in Europe, butterbur (Petasites hybridus) is another alternative to antihistamines, though it may be hard to find in the United States.

• A Swiss study, published in British Journal of Medicine, found that butterbur was as effective as the drug cetirizine, the active ingredient in Zyrtec. Even though cetirizine is supposed to be a nonsedative antihistamine, researchers reported that it did cause drowsiness, though butterbur did not. Participants in the study took 32 milligrams of butterbur a day, divided into four doses.

• A word of caution though — butterbur is in the same family as ragweed, so it could worsen allergy symptoms in some cases. Effects of taking butterbur over a long period of time also are unknown.

Sublingual Immunotherapy

• Specific immunotherapy, otherwise known as allergy shots, has been used widely to inject patients with diluted doses of certain allergens to help build immunity over time. However, allergy shots can take three to five years to be effective, and a small percentage of people suffer severe reactions to this treatment.

• New studies have found a gentler way to acclimate the body to pollen and other allergens called sublingual immunotherapy (SLIT), which has been used for the past 20 years in Europe. In SLIT treatments, patients put drops of a very small dose of the allergen (initially a 1:1,000 dilution) under the tongue for two minutes, then swallow.

• The daily therapy begins before peak pollen season for seasonal allergy sufferers, but also can be used to treat year-round allergies, though treatment must be specific to the type of allergen.

Pampering4life Healthy Eating Series: Garden Medley

Millet Garden Medley

 

Millet Garden Medley

Serves 6

Carrots, parsnips, kale and sweet potatoes combine with kidney beans, chickpeas and millet to make a hearty meal. Vary the vegetables, selecting your seasonal favorites for this flavorful garden medley. Millet, a tiny, round, golden grain, turns light and fluffy when cooked and is simple to prepare.

Ingredients

1 cup dried kidney beans
1 cup dried chickpeas
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 rib celery, chopped
2 parsnips, chopped
1 teaspoon chile powder
6 cups vegetable broth
2 cups chopped kale or collard greens (tough stems and ribs removed)
1 cup fresh or frozen corn
6 fingerling potatoes, halved
5 plum tomatoes, cored and chopped
2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 small head broccoli, trimmed and cut into florets
Salt and pepper
1 cup dried millet
3 cups water
4 green onions, sliced

Method

Carefully pick through kidney beans and chickpeas to remove any small stones or debris and rinse well. Transfer to a large bowl, cover by 3 inches with water, cover and set aside at room temperature for 8 hours or overnight; drain and rinse well.

Heat oil in a large pot over medium high heat. Add garlic, onion, carrot and celery and cook until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Add parsnips, cook 2 minutes more, then stir in chile powder and cook for 1 minute. Stir in broth, beans and chickpeas and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 hour. (Check about half way through and add enough water just to cover, if necessary.) Add kale, corn, fingerling potatoes, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli, salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer until beans and vegetables are tender, about 1 hour more.

Meanwhile,rinse millet in running water for about 1 minute; drain well and transfer to a medium pot. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until millet is dry and fragrant, but not browned, about 5 minutes; transfer to a bowl and return pot to the heat. Add water and bring to a boil. Add millet and salt, return to a boil then cover and simmer until liquid is absorbed, 20 to 30 minutes. Set aside off of the heat for a few minutes, then uncover and fluff with a fork.

Spoon stewed vegetables over millet and garnish with green onions.

Nutrition

Per serving: 540 calories (80 from fat), 9g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 0mg cholesterol, 1030mg sodium, 97g total carbohydrate (21g dietary fiber, 14g sugar), 21g protein

Pampering4life Healthy Mind Series: Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand others to the point that you can experience their emotions and internal drives. Most of us are good at being empathetic with those we love, but increasing your empathy beyond your social group takes practice.      
Understand your own emotions. To increase your empathy, you need to start with yourself. Pay close attention to your emotional state, noting what situations change your emotions, what gives rise to positive emotions and negative emotions. Use this material as a point from which to understand others' emotional responses.

Interact with a wide range of people. Get to know people of all ages, ethnicities, sexual orientations, socio-economic backgrounds and levels of physical ability. The more types of people you get to know, the more experiences you will have to draw on as you try to increase your empathy.

Seek out similarities between you and others. When we stress difference between ourselves and other people, it's much more difficult to understand others. Especially seek out the similarities between you and people you do not like or who you disagree with. For even greater empathy, seek out the similarities between you and other species.

Practice taking on another's perspective. Train your mind to be open to perspectives other than your own and evolve to actually immersing yourself in a different perspective. For example, if you are pro-life, take on a pro-choice stance to better understand the other side. You can do this on a personal level as well and it doesn't have to just involve moral and political ideas.

Examine the lives and work of famous empathetic people. It's easier to become more empathetic when you have good role models. Choose people deeply involved in a social cause you respect and read biographies to better understand how they used their empathy.

Read good fiction. Recent studies have shown a connection between reading fiction and gaining empathy. Fiction generally contains accounts of individuals' difficulties and being exposed to emotionally evocative material can help you better understand people's internal states.
Foster empathy in your children  and in those around you. Respond to children you are close to in a non-authoritarian way, reasoning with them about the effects their behavior can have on others. Let children know that it's in their nature to be good, sharing members of a community.

Mind Boosting Activities For A Younger You

Contrary to popular belief, your mind does not have to slow down just because you get older. Instead, you can keep your brain functioning at its highest level just by keeping it in shape, just as your muscles improve when you work them out.
"Working out" your brain is only slightly different from working out the rest of your body. If anything, it's easier because such a wide array of activities is beneficial.
If you are interested in keeping your brain sharp, no matter what your age, here are the key activities to indulge in.


1. Exercise
Physical activity does not just benefit your waist size. It also produces beneficial changes in your brain, including:

• Encouraging the growth of new cells by increasing oxygen flow to your brain
• Boosting growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor, which helps new nerve cells to survive
• Increasing neurotransmitters in your brain that play a role in cognition

2. Challenge Your Mind
As the saying goes, "Use it or lose it." It's thought that some of the forgetfulness and loss of mental acuity that comes along with aging is caused, at least in part, by non-use.
In fact, another study in The New England Journal of Medicine found that seniors who participated in mentally challenging activities about once a week for a 20-year period reduced the risk of dementia by 7 percent. Those who engaged in these activities more often reduced their risk even more -- by 63 percent!
To keep your mind on its toes, try out a new hobby that will get you thinking, such as:

• Learning how to play a musical instrument
• Playing Sudoku, crossword puzzles, cards or board games
• Learning a foreign language
• Reading
• Creative writing
• Woodworking

3. Eat Healthy Meals and Snacks
What you eat has a direct impact on your brain function, and if you've ever indulged in a mid-afternoon junk-food binge, then felt like your head was stuck in a fog for the rest of the day, you understand what we're saying. The best foods for your brain include:

• Antioxidants from fruits and veggies. One study by researchers at the University of California at Irvine found that beagles fed a high-antioxidant died had improved cognitive skills. And, rats fed strawberries and blueberries have been shown to enjoy improved coordination, concentration and short-term memory.
• Fish. Coldwater fish, such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, and herring are rich in omega-3 fatty acids that have been found to be very important for brain function (just be careful to eat this in moderation due to potential contamination with mercury).

Meanwhile, you definitely want to avoid trans fats for your brain health. These dangerous fats have been linked to a host of mental problems, including dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism.

4. Listen to Some Music
A study published in the journal Heart & Lung found that people who listened to music while they exercised performed more than twice as well on a verbal fluency test than people who listened to no music. The test was designed to challenge the part of the brain that deals with planning and abstract thought.

5. Have a Drink?
While too much alcohol can cause you serious health problems, a study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that one-half to one drink a day may be beneficial for your brain.
In fact, in the study of over 12,000 elderly women, those who drank light to moderate amounts of alcohol daily had a 20 percent lower risk of having problems with their mental abilities later in life than women who did not drink at all.

6. Sleep Enough
During sleep, your mental energy is restored. Don't get enough of it and important skills like planning, problem solving, learning, concentration, memory and alertness will all become more difficult. Further, the less sleep you get, the worse off you'll be.
"If you have been awake for 21 hours straight, your abilities are equivalent to someone who is legally drunk," says Sean Drummond from the University of California, San Diego in New Scientist.
However, just a few nights of not enough sleep can produce similar effects.

7. Meditate
Meditation has been found to produce both short-term and permanent changes in the brain. In fact, researchers at Harvard, Yale and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that meditation increases brain size and may help slow some aspects of cognitive aging.

Generally, what's harmful to your heart also is also harmful to your brain. Make no mistake about it: While fried potato skins are busting your buttons, there's also a portion that gets shuttled up through your arteries to your gray matter.
Saturated fats, for example, clog arteries that lead to your brain, putting you at risk of stroke, while omega-3 fatty acids -- the good fats found in fish -- are helpful for your brain because they help keep your arteries clear. They also alter your neurotransmitters and reduce depression.

Below is a list of real anti-aging foods to keep your brain young

Food	Why	Recommended Amount	RealAge Difference
Nuts	Nuts contain monounsaturated fats to keep your arteries clear, as well as levels of precursors of serotonin to boost mood.	1 ounce of nuts a day is just right. (More is fine, but be careful of calorie overload.) An ounce is about 12 walnuts or 24 almonds.	Men: 3.3 years younger. Women: 4.4 years younger.
Fish especially wild salmon, whitefish, tilapia, catfish, flounder, mahi mahi	Fish contain artery-clearing omega-3 fatty acids.	Aim for 13.5 ounces of fish a week, or 3 servings, each about the size of your fist.	2.8 years younger.
Soybeans	Soybeans contain heart- and artery-healthy protein, fiber, and fats.	1 cup of soybeans a day.	0.4 years younger.
Tomato juice and spaghetti sauce	Tomatoes contain folate, lycopene, and other nutrients to keep arteries young.	8 ounces a day of juice or 2 tablespoons of spaghetti sauce a day.	At least 1 year younger.
Olive oil, nut oils, fish oils, flaxseed, avocados	All of these foods contain heart-healthy monounsaturated fats.	25% of daily calories should be healthy fats.	3.4 years younger.
Real chocolate (at least 70% cocoa)	Real chocolate increases dopamine release and provides flavonoids, which keep arteries young.	1 ounce a day (to replace milk chocolate).	1.2 years younger.