Abuse: The Dark Secret To Violence Against Women

Signs of abuse

It can be hard to know if you're being abused. You may think that your husband is allowed to make you have sex. That's not true. Forced sex is rape, no matter who does it. You may think that cruel or threatening words are not abuse. They are. And sometimes emotional abuse is a sign that a person will become physically violent.
Below is a list of possible signs of abuse. Some of these are illegal. All of them are wrong. You may be abused if your partner:

• Monitors what you're doing all the time
• Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time
• Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school
• Gets very angry during and after drinking alcohol or using drugs
• Controls how you spend your money
• Controls your use of needed medicines
• Decides things for you that you should be allowed to decide (like what to wear or eat)
• Humiliates you in front of others
• Destroys your property or things that you care about
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets
• Hurts you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
• Uses (or threatens to use) a weapon against you
• Forces you to have sex against your will
• Controls your birth control or insists that you get pregnant
• Blames you for his or her violent outbursts
• Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you
• Says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can."

If you think someone is abusing you, get help. Abuse can have serious physical and emotional effects. No one has the right to hurt you.

Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships

Sometimes a relationship might not be abusive, but it might have some serious problems that make it unhealthy. If you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship, you should be able to talk to your partner about your concerns. If you feel like you can't talk to your partner, try talking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. Consider calling a confidential hotline to get the support you need and to explore next steps. If you're afraid to end the relationship, call a hotline for help.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship include:

• Focusing all your energy on your partner
• Dropping friends and family or activities you enjoy
• Feeling pressured or controlled a lot
• Having more bad times in the relationship than good
• Feeling sad or scared when with your partner

Signs of a healthy relationship include:

• Having more good times in the relationship than bad
• Having a life outside the relationship, with your own friends and activities
• Making decisions together, with each partner compromising at times
• Dealing with conflicts by talking honestly
• Feeling comfortable and able to be yourself
• Feeling able to take care of yourself
• Feeling like your partner supports you

If you feel confused about your relationship, a mental health professional can help. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect.

Rekindle Your Relationship With Love

Even if your relationship is on the verge of breaking off, it is still never too late to rekindle love. Many couples take their love for granted when they are together for too long in a relationship. They failed to make time for their romance and ended up in a plain and boring love.

How to rekindle love and save the relationship? It is time to bring back the romance back into the relationship. Find ways to spend more time together. One of the very good ways to rekindle love is to go for a holiday together.
Reminisce the good days together. Bring out the old photos and go to places where both of you have good memories behind. This will help to bring back the memory and love that both of you had for each other. You have to show him or her that you are someone who will cherish love.

Learn to analyze what went wrong with the relationship. It could be anything that cause either party to lose the confident and faith in the relationship. It can be your sex life, character, attention, etc. Show some respect and be nice to your partner in this relationship.

Take this time to experience some new things together. Maybe your partner has been wanting to learn surfing or maybe you can plan for a monthly surprise to him or her. All these little new things can add some spice to your love life and this is good for rekindling the love with your partner.

Old Fashioned Love Letters

• If part of what extinguished your raging romance was the hustle and bustle of daily life, slow things down to give your love affair a fresh start. Write your former flame a romantic letter and send it via snail mail, giving it the feel of a classically romantic love letter. In your letter, request that he write back. If he is not willing to reciprocate, he is likely not as eager to rebuild the relationship as you are and continuing to pursue the issue may be a lost cause. If he, instead, does write back, read what he has to say and continue with the chain of written love, rebuilding your romance with each word you write.
  
  

Dinner at Home

• A dinner at a fancy restaurant can certainly be romance inducing but when what you seek to do is have a state-of-the-union chat with your former flame, a dinner at home is likely a wiser choice. Ask your ex to come over and enjoy a meal at your place. Prepare the tasty treats yourself or, if your cooking skills leave a bit to be desired, order from your favorite take-out restaurant. As you enjoy this food at home you will have plenty of time to chat and also the privacy necessary to do so.
  
  

Relaxing Trip

• If your romantic relationship didn't go out with a bang but instead transitioned into a friendship, taking a trip with this person with whom you still have a positive relationship may be a good choice. Plan a relaxing trip to a cabin or beach destination and invite your ex-flame to go. Before asking her to go on the trip, make it clear that you hope to use the time away to reconsider your relationship status, as to ensure that she doesn't feel tricked into attending this relationship summit. This time away from the duties of daily life may give you just the opportunity you need to communicate openly and ponder your romance.

Love is both an action and a feeling. The action of love generates a blissful feeling called by the same name. When the action stops, the blissful feeling is replaced with pain. There is a similar feeling called lust which may be confused with love. You need to decipher between the two in order to have a healthy heart. Every person is capable of great love so make sure to love the one you are with.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

The Importance Of Love In Your Life

To understand the importance of love in finding a life purpose it is necessary to consider the many ways of loving, and of being loved. Most people first experience love within their own family, then develop a love of close friends. Love for others comes with maturity, as does the basic need to be in a loving relationship.





* Romantic love

Seeking the ideal partner can sometimes be the main focus in life. After falling in love, continuing to care for the loved one provides a major life purpose.

Sadly, romantic love can blossom and then fade. The loss of a partner can often cause a general lack of purpose in living, because it seems to remove the possibility of ever again enjoying life to the full.
Being in a loving relationship is not absolutely essential to a purposeful life. It is an important part of living, but should not be thought of as the sole purpose.

* Parental Love

Most parents find a life purpose in loving, caring and providing for their own children. It is important for parents to know that as their children grow up they must be allowed to seek and find a life purpose of their own. A child should not be forced or persuaded into a role desired by the parents.
Parental love is important, but it only provides real life purpose when children are still young and dependent. Decades of devotion by a parent can end in loss of purpose when the children are grown up and have left home.

* Love of Friends

Love of friends is important in life, but so are new friendships. It is important that lifelong friendships do not become exclusive. Close friendship should never prevent anyone from meeting and getting to know new people, developing new friendships, and being able to let go when old friends move on.
Having the love of good friends can feel very supportive and it is highly rewarding to love those friends in return. The purpose of life should not just be to keep within a close circle of friends.

* Love for Community

Many good people devote themselves to their own community, through voluntary work, fundraising activities, campaigning on local issues, and getting involved in regional politics.
Support for a community, love of a particular place, and pride in local achievements can also create negative reactions, through fear, bitterness, rivalry, even hatred of anyone who is not from the same background. To allow prejudice to become a purpose in life shows a complete lack of love for humanity.
Loving and supporting others in the community is a commendable way to live, but if it becomes a life purpose it can preclude greater love for humanity.

* Universal Love

The capacity for universal love is a rare and wonderful quality. Real love is always unconditional. It does not cease through disagreement, or from disappointment. It allows forgiveness.
Love for humanity accepts people of all faiths, or of no faith. It involves actively caring for the less fortunate, and does not exclude anyone just for being different. Universal love gives real purpose to life.

* Self Love

Love of self is not the same as being selfish. It is based on self knowledge and self belief. Love of self is important because it develops integrity, and establishes the desire to live with a clear conscience.
Self love allows independence and original thinking, but too much self love can be destructive if it precludes love of others. To find a life purpose it is necessary to love others, and to learn from them.
It is only through genuine love for others that a true life purpose can be discovered and maintained.